OGR 10/02/2013Afternoon Dhuran,Okay - my biggest issue with your progress so far is associated with how generic and under-designed everything is; yes, you're at a provisional stage in terms of storyboard (which is VERY provisional - more about this later), but when I look at your drawings for the interiors etc. I know already that you're yet to resolve a 'visual concept' or guiding set of principles in terms of set design. I want to see a much more distinctive approach to the design of your world - and this extends to your character design; your 'Jeeves' silhouette has the makings of something, but your other silhouette looks like he's wandered in from a different style of animation altogether. I want to see much more refinement in your process, Dhuran; there's a sense here that your settling too soon and too quickly in regard to your pipeline - remember the 'minimum of 100 thumbnails'? Remember what the point of that was? To encourage students to design by doing LOTS of designs. Your OGR suggests that research as helped you design the interior/exterior of your manor house... but where are those designs, Dhuran? If you're talking about those generic pencil drawings, then no, these are not convincing examples of a student who has researched Victorian interiors and architecture and is now applying them in terms of concept art and production drawings. To be honest, Dhuran, this OGR suggests that you've barely begun the design process - and that you need to engage much more determinedly and creatively if your 'Art Of' publication is going to satisfy the assessment criteria.In terms of character design, your Jeeves silhouette reminds me of the designs of De'Von Stubblefield and you might want to take a look at his blog:http://drawrstubbs.tumblr.com/post/29799940806/30-day-challenge-day-5-use-a-limited-paletteIn terms of overall style, you might want to move your story in terms of era, and go for something that will give your story an overall look - certainly if you were to look at 1920s fashion and 'Art Deco', you might find inspiration to give all your assets - character, props, furniture - a 'look'. If you look at your classmates, you'll see there's consideration being given to colour palette and visual concept - something which is missing right now from your production drawings.
To assist you in your character design, I want you to work closely with resources available on myUCA/Story&Commission/Learning Materials/Character Design Resources - especially the Loomis PDF on drawing cartoon characters. Likewise, I want you to look properly at the storyboarding resources, because your storyboards aren't suggestive of someone who was taken on a lot of new technique in this area. In regard to your storyboards you need more panels, because you're not dealing yet with the action sequences; for example, in your script you've got the escalation between butler and mouse, but you don't show this in your boards. You've got to create excitement, a sense of chase and action - and you do that by using a variety of shots, by montaging them, by switching POVs from the butler to the mouse - indeed, there's so much potential in these conflict scenes, I was disappointed to see your storyboards swerving them completely.So - short version, Dhuran: I'm not convinced that a) you've actually been working enough so far, that b) you're engaging with the learning resources on myUCA and c) that you properly appreciate the ambition of this unit - and my expectations come submission time. I suggest you take a moment to look again at the brief - at what is expected - but also to reflect on the quality of your work and your ambitions in regard to improving it. I see no reason why your story shouldn't be a laugh out loud crowd-pleaser, but you need to pull your finger out and do so quickly.